Last Chance
by Maruading Storyteller
Summary: What is my purpose, why am I here? These are but two guestions that Kagome has asked herself. Her heart has been broken and her hope lost, will she give life one last chance, or is it way too late already?


Last Chance

A/N- This is a one-shot song-shot of Kagome's thoughts when she's had enough and gets depressed and believe me, it's dark. So if you don't like the thought of suicide or hurting something, don't read this...

The song is '_Welcome To My Life_' by- Simple Plan

Disclaimer- Does it look like I own InuYasha?! Right! So just leave me alone already!

I was having a really bad day and this is what became of a sweet little thought of Kagome pining over InuYasha. This will all be in Kagome's Pov, until the end at least. Anyway, I bet we all feel like this at least once, after all...we're only human.

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_Do you ever feel like breaking down?_

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

_Like somehow you just don't belong,_

_and no one understands you._

Ever have one of those days that it seems like the whole damn world was out to get you? That no matter what you do or where you go, all you are is a burden to everyone around you?

Well, welcome to my world.

_Do you ever wanna run away?_

_Do you lock yourself in your room?_

_With the radio on,_

_turned up so loud,_

_that no one hears you screaming._

Sometimes I feel as if there is no point to any of this shit and the harder I try, the more it hurts. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to do anything right when no one seems to care?

What's the point? Why was I born if my life has no meaning and no one cares what happens to me?

Like today for instance.

_No you don't know what its like,_

_when nothing feels alright._

_You don't know what its like,_

_to be like me._

Everything seemed like today would be an okay day, at least I thought so. But hell, it only went down hill and now, god...now I feel as if my very life is nothing. And the funny thing is...I hate myself too, so my life really doesn't mean anything to me either.

After all, I've gone through hell and back for them. I've given up so much but for what? Huh? What am I getting in return?

Like my so-called friends in my time and in the feudal era.

They claim to be my friends, but where are they when I really need them?

Then when I go to confront them, all they say is that they didn't know or that they were sorry. Heh, sorry my ass.

_To be hurt,_

_to feel lost,_

_to be left out in the dark._

_To be kicked,_

_when your down,_

_to feel like you've been pushed around._

I mean, who gives a fuck if I dissapear today or if I die? Hell, that could happen at any second, even when I'm here typing this.

But really, I don't give a shit. My mother drove me home today and I told her I wasn't feeling good, that I was tired and depressed. But did she listen? Fuck no!

God, when we got home she was all cheery and happy. I've never wanted to beat the shit out of anyone more than I did at that moment. Even thinking about the smile on her face is enough to have me wanting to draw blood, where's a stuffed animal when you need it?

_To be on the edge of breaking down,_

_and no one's there to save you._

_No you don't know what its like._

_Welcome to my life._

Ever since I was a little girl all I could think about was the day I'd grow up, fall in love with my prince charming, get married and have children of my own.

Those dreams were shattered the day that I found out that my father didn't love me. Life is cruel that way. It raises your hopes one moment, only to dash them the next.

But since when was life ever fair to me?

What really get's to me was the fact that I never saw it coming and now it is way too late to turn back. The time for regrets and hopes has passed, all that's left for me now is this pain that surounds and fills me.

This pain that proves that I'm still alive.

_Do you wanna be somebody else?_

_Are you sick of feeling so left out?_

_Are you desperate to find something more,_

_before your life is over?_

My path of distruction started with my father's departure and the amfirmation that he never loved me in the first place, something that broke my heart as I became lost in this void the first time.

It was hard. Trying and living everyday knowing that you were never wanted, that all you were was just some childish mistake.

Yeah, I found out that little jewel when I was cleaning the temple and happened upon my mother's old diary.

It was old and worn, but the words were what really struck me.

The first few pages were what any girl would write normaly, but then I found the page that changed what I felt for my mother forever.

_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?_

_Are you sick of everyone around?_

_With their big fake smiles and stupid lies,_

_while deep inside your bleeding._

She had written about how she had lost her virginity in a drunken stupor, about how she later found that she was pregnant. And about how she was forced to keep the baby.

She called me a mistake, an acident. She had never wanted me and now as I watch her prepare our evening meal, I can see it. She still doesn't want me.

My hopes that she had changed her mind and now loved me shattered, neither of my parents had wanted me, yet here I was...their burden, her burden.

_No you don't know what its like,_

_when nothing feels alright._

_You don't know what its like,_

_to be like me._

Then came the well.

I was truly amaized that one such as myself was alowed to travel through time to defeat evil. It made me feel as if I had found my reason for living and that as long as I continued to find the jewel shards, I would be saved.

But low and behold, I ended up releasing the one that I thought would be my savior. The one that I could look too for help and comfort, the one that would bring life back into my cold and lost body.

How wrong I was.

_To be hurt,_

_to feel lost,_

_to be left out in the dark._

_To be kicked,_

_when your down,_

_to feel like you've been pushed around._

I had dared to hope and what did it bring me? Just more pain.

He had his own love and she meant more to him than me. My worthlessness had reared it's head once again and now I had to watch as the one who was suposed to save me, only hurt me more instead.

It had been of no surprise when I found out that I was but a copy, an imitation of a person, her shadow. After all, my whole life I had been nothing but a mistake and now, I was a fake as well.

How ironic huh?

_To be on the edge of breaking down,_

_and no one's there to save you._

_No you don't know what its like._

_Welcome to my life._

When Miroku came to be in our group, I thought that at least I would have a friend, but he only wanted a woman with a velupous body. A woman that would just be with him once and that's it.

I could never do such a thing and so, I only became more miserable.

Then came Sango and for a while I was happy, or as close to happy as someone like me could get. But she then abandoned me as well.

She claimed to be my friend but all she cared about was her brother and revenge.

In a way, that's the only thing that our whole group has in common. Revenge.

I wonder what will happen when we no longer have anyone to seek out revenge on?

_No one ever lied straight to your face,_

_and no one ever stabbed you in the back._

_You might think I'm happy,_

_but I'm not going to be okay. _

After having many tangles with Naraku's cohorts and his creations, I thought that as long as I fought, I wouldn't have to deal with all that was going wrong with my life.

Then that bastard Naraku had Hakudoushi do his blasted heart search thing and brought all that I hated and feared to the surface. My he rot in the deepest pits of hell.

It hurt, alot. I mean, I had sucessfully surpressed all of that crap only to have it drug out into the open once again and now...

Now I find that I have no reason to push these thoughts and feelings away.

_Everybody always gave you what you wanted,_

_you never had to work,_

_it was always there._

_You don't know what its like,_

_What its like._

I bet your all wondering why I haven't spoken about Shippou yet, but that is where this is all the hardest.

I feel like a mother for him and I try to make him happy, but I know all I am is a replacement. Someone there to just ease his pain until he can move on his own and that, sadly, is coming soon.

He's growing up rather fast and everyday I find that he is slowly forgetting me. I am just fine with that though, he deserves to have a chance at a great life and I won't stand in his way, unlike what happened to me.

It's sad but true.

_To be hurt,_

_to feel lost,_

_to be left out in the dark._

_To be kicked,_

_when your down,_

_to feel like you've been pushed around._

When Kouga came into the picture, I was shocked when he claimed that he loved me. I knew that it was too good to be true and I did my best to push him away, not wishing him to end up hurt in the end.

But my concern was for not.

He was engaged and it didn't surprise me that he was using me to get rid of her. As I had known, he didn't really love me, it was obvious.

So even through a lie, I knew that I had helped him at least a little bit and that was good enough for me.

_To be on the edge of breaking down,_

_and no one's there to save you._

_No you don't know what its like._

_What its like._

Things continued to only get worse as our journey continued. Naraku's attacks became relentless and we were soon nearing the end of this battle.

It was something that everyone wanted...everyone but me that is.

When this was all over, what was I going to do with my life? How would I continue to cope with this hated existance?

Those were thoughts that I couldn't find answers too, no matter how hard I tried. But I knew that I would have to face them one day soon.

_To be hurt,_

_to feel lost,_

_to be left out in the dark._

_To be kicked,_

_when your down,_

_to feel like you've been pushed around._

That day came sooner than I thought it would.

It had taken almost the whole day before we had finally defeated and destoyied Naraku. Everyone was free to move on with their lives, everyone but me.

I made up some excuse about needing to go home, but instead of going home I just walked into the forest and kept walking until I couldn't walk anymore.

My mind was turning in on itself and soon I just couldn't take it anymore.

_To be on the edge of breaking down,_

_and no one's there to save you._

_No you don't know what its like._

Normal Pov-

The drop was huge, Kagome couldn't even see the bottom as she bent over and gazed over the edge of the cliff. Down below the sound of water crashing against rocks could be heard and Kagome felt a deep sence of calm wash over her.

This was the end. Her worthless and useless existance had lead her to this cliff and for that Kagome was greatful.

Gripping the front of her shirt above her heart, Kagome let her eyes close as she took the plunge and stepped off the cliff.

_Welcome to my life._

The wind was strong as it hit her face, leaving a stinging sensation in it's wake and Kagome felt a smile curl her lips as she streached her arms out wide, welcoming her end with open arms.

All she had wanted was for someone to need her, for a reason to live. But that hed been denyed and now Kagome would welcome her sweet oblivion, acepting her death happily.

Seh could feel the ground approaching fast and could even smell the salt in the air. Teas filled her eyes as she continued to fall but then something happened that she did not expect.

A scream filled the air.

_Welcome to my life._

Her eyes snapped open and Kagome lifted her head, gazing towards the direction of that scream. Blue eyes met brown and time seemed to stand still.

Not a hundred feet away stood a little girl, a girl that Kagome recognized, it was Rin. Her eyes were wide in horror as they gazed straight back at her and Kagome suddenly felt the desire to live flood her whole body.

She could see it in Rin's eyes. Rin needed her.

Kagome looked about to find away to stop but found none, causing her heart to sink as she felt a great sence of self loathing wash over her. She was going to die and just when someone needed her too.

_Welcome to my life._

But it seemed the gods had decided to give her another shot at life.

Just as she could feel the ground below closing in, Kagome was bathed in a sudden warmth, a warmth that she had longed for her entire life.

Opening her eyes, Kagome looked up and she could feel hope beginning to flood her form once more.

"Sesshoumaru..."

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A/N- And there it is...I know that thoughts kike this are sad and not something that anyone should think, but sometimes you just can't take it anymore.

Anyway, this is just a one-shot for now, but if anyone wishes for me to continue this. Then put it in your review or pm me...

Ja...


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